Someone recently told me that "coping clocks" run out. She meant that, psychologically speaking, some of us simply can't handle anymore than we're already handling.
I know this to be untrue. All of us can handle more than we're already handling. Of course, most of us don't think so. Or we don't want to think so.
We not only can handle more, we will have to. The troubles of life are unforeseeable, but they will come -- often in downpours. And we will have no choice but to cope.
That doesn't mean we can't allow ourselves the occasional meltdown. A good cry might be evidence of terror in the clutch of darkness, but it also adds to our innate, God-given (and God-driven) ability to cope.
A friend sent me this Buddhist prayer, which he always carries with him. From now on, I'm carrying it too.
May all things be happy and at their ease. May they be joyous and live in safety. All beings, whether weak or strong -- in high, middle, and low realms of existence, small or great, visible or invisible, near or far away, born or to be born -- may all beings be happy and at their ease. Let none deceive another, or despise any being in any state; let none by anger or ill-will wish harm to another. Even as a mother watches over and protects her child, her only child, so with boundless mind should one cherish all living beings, radiating friendliness over the entire world, above, below and all around without limits; so let [us] cultivate a boundless goodwill towards the entire world, uncramped, free from ill-will or enmity.
Marti, this is exactly what I needed to read right at this moment in my life. People are always telling me that "God won't give you more than you can handle." But I know that I often feel exactly that way. I like to think that when my coping skills runs dry, that's when He takes over and His grace is truly known. He's the last leg of my baton race:)
ReplyDeleteI usually respond with an expletive when someone says that to me, Pam! You are one very strong woman; be well, be very well, in that strength.
ReplyDeleteMarti,I find cope/coping to be such passive words particularly during times of trials and tribulations. I guess my 'mantra' comes from my southern bred mother..."You do what you have to do!" Somedays that's nothing more than putting one foot on the floor followed by another to merely get out of bed in the morning. But it's an action. We all need to take time for our own private pity parties and then we can more forward and "DO what we have to DO". Thank you my friend, as always, for sharing your heartfelt thoughts!
ReplyDeleteNancy, I agree with your mother, but I also do believe coping or to cope is a verb and therefore action oriented and not passive. To me it means making a determined step into the wind or simply standing up when the winds are buffeting (sort of like your two feet on the floor). It means handling life a day at a time. We don't have to do everything there is to do. We have to do only what needs doing in the now. Sometimes that's just offering a smile...or, as you say, getting out of bed in the morning.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, for me, enduring is just enough for a short while. I know that I'll regroup and drive on.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Pat. Enduring, then moving on is, to me, a form of coping. Sometimes I even feel frozen in place for a time, waiting for but knowing the thaw will eventually come.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I find that the best way to cope is to "just do it!" (Nike to the rescue) because the very act of thinking about it might just push me over the edge!
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